Liechtenstein: A Seriously Quirky Country

"So, I'm going to be in Zurich for 17 hours at the end of June.  It's the perfect layover, from 6am to 11pm.  Come join me."

Cue silent consideration.

"It'll be fun," I continue, eyeing my friend's grainy face over Skype.  "And think of all the yummy chocolate."

I know, I know, playing the chocolate card early.  It is Switzerland though.

"Also, we could go to Liechtenstein!"

She didn't look sold, but she was thinking about it.  "What's in Liechtenstein?"

"No idea," I shrugged.  "That's why we should go."

Note to reader: I am very strong in the illogical argument department.  Such arguments are infinitely more fun than stating "we could go for the culture, for their unique food, for a historical museum with a pretty glass front, or to better understand the people of this little European nation."  Honestly, I'm bored just writing that.

"Plus it's close," I added.  "It can't be more than an hour for you, and I can see flights for next to nothing."

Cue quick search on kayak.com for flights.  Of course I'm right, inter-Europe travel is gloriously cheap.

"$300 round trip with fantastic flight times, less if you don't mind getting up early.  Plus you can stay for the weekend, see a bit of Zurich and sample multiple chocolate shop offerings."

This wasn't the way to break her resistance. Germans are very difficult to talk into things.  Recently though, another friend and I had introduced her to the world of what we call "crazy trips".  These are trips which sacrifice logic for pure, chaotic fun.  You essentially see an insane amount in a short period of time, potentially with flights in between, then dash home in time to walk into the office at 8am.  The fun continues when someone asks what you did over the weekend.

"It'll definitely be a crazy weekend," I hedged.

She looked at the ceiling.  On Skype it always seemed a bit odd when she did this.  I'm fairly certain she was looking at something on the wall opposite, but not knowing what was there made it seem strange.

"You can do all the planning, we can do whatever you like.  I just want to go to Liechtenstein and Laderach."

"Laderach?  Where's that?"

"What.  It's chocolate," I smirked.  "Only the best chocolate in all of Switzerland, and there is a shop right next to the main train station."

Yes, it is possible to play the chocolate card more than once.

Her pause was shorter this time.  "I'll look at flights, see if there's anything that works."

Of course there was, I had already looked that up.  She was so in!

***

We met in Zurich a month later, her for the weekend and me for a 17 hour layover before continuing on to Singapore and Bali.  On arrival, I ducked into the Swiss arrival lounge for a shower and a shot of espresso.  It's possible I also had ice cream for breakfast, but we won't dwell on that.  I took a shuttle to my friend's hotel, and by 9:00am we were strolling around Zurich station, waiting for the next train to Sargans where we would connect by bus to Liechtenstein.

Liechtenstein in a nutshell:

• A landlocked principality in central Europe, it shares borders with Switzerland and Austria. 
• The Central Intelligence Agency ranks it's residents as the second wealthiest in the world, with an average per capita income of $89,400 (https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2004rank.html), slightly ahead of Bermuda and behind Qatar.  
• The entire country boasts a population of only about 36,000 people.
• The capital city is Vaduz.
• It is one of the 25 least visited countries in the world.

To get to Liechtenstein from Zurich is simple, which made me wonder why it ranked among the least visited countries on the planet.  The train tickets were 75 euros each, round trip in second class, and the journey was 1.5 hours each way.

The train itself is modern and efficient with comfortable blue chairs that face each other.  Both leaving and returning to Zurich it was fairly full and we had to hunt to find seats together, however sitting alone would have been easy.  This was an express train, making only two stops along the way, with the conductor circulating in between to check tickets.  There was also a woman selling food and drinks, but we decided to hold out for the Liechtenstein Special.

The connection to the bus is directly outside the train station.  Passengers are only given a few minutes to connect to the first bus, so we didn't delay finding it and taking our seats.

For those concerned with taking buses in a non-English speaking country, put your mind at ease.  These aren't the buses of days past.  There was a TV screen at the front that listed off the stations, including where you were along the route and how long until the next stop.  It was beautifully simple to get anywhere based on this.

We arrived at a bus stop along a very tidy but uninspiring street.  There was no sign that said "Welcome to Liechtenstein", and even when we left later in the day we didn't spot one from the bus window.  All the same, a stroll up to the post office confirmed we were in fact in Liechtenstein.

"The guidebook says we can get our passports stamped here," my friend said authoritatively.  It was the tourist information building across from the post office.

I followed her in, already dragging out my passport.  Obviously I needed some proof I'd come here.

In equal measure to my unrealistic "I want an official passport stamp from Liechtenstein" was the price take of 3 CHF to get it.  Steep, especially for a stamp that noted it was from the tourism office.  Of course I still forked over the cash.  Who am I to not encourage completely illogical pursuits?

"Postcards," my friend then reminded me.  She was embracing her German heritage but going down the list of things she had planned.  Postcards was obviously #2.  It was my fault for allowing her complete control over the planning.

We argued back and forth over whether we should send a beautiful or peculiar postcard to a mutual friend (I voted for the quirky one, but got outvoted somehow...?), bought a handful of stamps, shoved them in our bags and looked upwards towards the castle.  That would be #3.

Side street off the main square.

The castle overlooking the main square.

"That looks far," I said, eyeing the castle on the top of the hill.  There didn't appear to be a funicular to ride up.  

"It's not that far."

"It looks far.  You have to be nice to me, I took a red eye flight to get here."

"You flew in business class, and it was your idea."

"I only got three hours sleep."

"You had a flat bed and French champagne.  You have no room for complaint."

This was true.  "Do you really want me to be tired and cranky later?"

"You'll probably be that way regardless."

This was also true.  

What did Oscar Wilde say about people?  

"I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their intellects."

Though pretty, my friend was fast moving into enemy territory.

"Fine," I grumbled.  "Which way?"

Of course we argued about the road to take.  I didn't like the one going up, she stated that we couldn't get to the castle without going uphill.  She won.  Again.

View overlooking the city.

View of the main square from a platform near the base of the castle.

Beautiful winding road.  Would love to have a sports car to drive here!

I'll admit, though grudgingly, that the hike was worth it.  Viewpoints showed sweeping vistas down and across the valley towards the snow-capped Alps, the puffy white clouds pressing heavily against the azure sky.  The landscape itself was incredibly green, to the point where it was almost surreal how vibrant the colors were.  

The walk took about half an hour, with signs along the way describing the history of the country and it's political structure.  Because the castle is still the main residence of the royal family, tourists were not allowed inside but could ogle the grounds and even (gasp!) touch the stones if they so dared.

Author's note: basically it was an unimpressive stone castle you couldn't enter and didn't get a good sense of from the outside.  Unfortunately, this was the main tourist attraction.

The castle, which sits atop the hill overlooking the town.

One of the towers of the castle.  This is as close as you can get as it's a residence and isn't open for tourists.

Other than the castle, the sites in Liechtenstein were sparse.  This is probably why so few tourists visit here.  There was however one very strange feature of this small country we couldn't help but be drawn to: the statues.  Odd, odd statues.  And they were everywhere!

The centre of it all.

Mini-library (granted, I've seen these elsewhere, just never in the middle of a square).

At first we were convinced this was hiding construction, but in fact it's a permanent statue.  Defies logic.

A plastic statue devoted to music.

Artistically rendered horse.  What's wrong with its butt?

There had to be a gnome around here somewhere!

Odd, odd house with odd, odd statues in the yard.

Naked superman.  QED.

Back down in the square, we grabbed lunch at a nondescript, overpriced cafe.  A few European tourists milled about, but in general the area was empty.

"So..."

"So..."

My friend and I shared a glance.

"Time to go?"

"Yeah," I nodded.  We had lasted 3 hours in this weird little country.  That was quite enough.

We mailed our postcards, waved goodbye to Naked Superman, walked to the bus station, and headed back to Zurich.

What can we say having been to Liechtenstein?  Well, I feel I can now authoritatively answer the question "What's in Liechtenstein?"

A castle you can't visit and a series of statues that make you question the sanity of the artists.  Other than that?

Not a whole hell of a lot.